Thought I’d share a glimpse of what it’s like to live with fiction in my head.
A young couple just grabbed their caramel macchiato and café latte. He’s pretty cute and she’s lovely. And my brain starts the wheels of fiction… He’s just come back from his first year at college and she just graduated high school. He can’t afford his next three years in college and he doesn’t know how to tell her. They kiss but it’s a small peck compared to the severe make out sessions they’re used to. He wants to tell her that he has to stay home and work for a year so he can earn enough bank to go back to school the following year. She doesn’t know how to tell him that she just received a scholarship to a college far, far away from home and different to his. She wants to accept it. It’s her dream. Big sigh. I’m in tears imagining what will become of them. They walk off leaving me in total disarray. My mind sad and alone. Drinking my breve latte with breaths in between, ignoring the weirded out stare from the barista who probably thinks I’m a stalker of sorts.
Grocery store checkout lane
There is a lovely family buying groceries in front of me. Daddy looks a bit chubby and judging from their groceries, it’s probably from all the brownies Mommy makes all the time. Baby girl sitting in the shopping cart is gurgling and reaching for Daddy. Daddy hands baby a lollipop. Yeah… sugar is good. Right? He’s on his phone, probably checking out some baseball stats. Mommy looks tired as she’s being nagged by two toddler boy twins. Blond… cutest things ever! One of them wants Cheetos. Hmm… Will she give in? Umm… yep… she’s in. A great deal of junk food suggests that they’ve given up on their lives. I mean Daddy arrives home tired and stressed out from all the bills to pay. Mommy just wants to get some sleep and she’s had enough of Daddy’s sexual attacks! No more kids for a while. Sex. That maybe the only pleasurable thing in their lives. Their babies however are so cute that you want them to keep having the sex because the production of such babes is priceless. But Mommy just wants to get back to the house. She’s got loads to do while Daddy takes care of or at least pretends to watch his own kids while she actually does chores. No! Don’t leave! I’m not done yet! You have to go to couple’s therapy! You have to find out what your dreams are and listen to each other and…
“Good afternoon. Paper or plastic?” The cashier smiles at me forcefully… She looks tired and my brain goes off in her direction…
Driving to work in the morning
Listening to the local morning show. The DJs talk about their personal lives. I like it. My brain loaded with the imagery of them doing their thing and making me smile. I see a homeless woman crossing the street. It’s not the first time I’ve seen her. I know she’s homeless because she always looks the same. I can’t even begin to say the things in my brain. Too depressing.
Listening to my children’s laughter
Heaven. They take me to Heaven and bring me back to reality. My reality. I have to make dinner, do laundry, edit my novel, make a blog entry and try not to judge my lovely husband’s innocent interests in his home country because it doesn’t fit into my head right now. It doesn’t fit because I’m saturated with selfish thoughts of other lives and other worlds. It’s full of nonsense, fantasy and a life that is not mine. Taking a breath… I do love it so.