The struggle is real ya’ll. I’m so in over my head. I keep giving myself deadlines I can’t meet. I thought if I started a blog it would just push me that extra mile to do this. To finish this once and for all. I mean I even told my pen-pal about it. Pressure is on! I have no idea who’s reading this really and perhaps it will be the same with the novel. Who would read such a thing! Fourteen chapters, 725 pages and two years later… not ready? Come on! Yeah. I’m almost done reviewing Chapter 9. That should count for something. Right? To be honest I’m tired. I wish I could just send it out right now. I wish I could just think it and it would become this great thing that everyone will enjoy. I hope. Wouldn’t that be nice? I think it would.
Oh! I have met with a very talented local artist about the book cover. Her name shall be revealed when you order M.A.T.L on Amazon. Oh dream! Really ya’ll, I’m just doing this because the fiction was strong in my head and I had to put it down. Whether or not it becomes a major motion picture (my eyes are popping out right now because that is a super dream!) doesn’t matter really. It doesn’t. This will be a huge accomplishment for me. It will feel so good, even if just one person outside of my little circle reads it, I will be so happy. To see it in paperback… priceless.
I’m sure your all going… yeah well… get on with it! Get on with it? Get on with it! With it! Yeah. I should get on with it except… I keep trying to find this music to go with a certain scene. My kids keep asking me for breakfast and it’s the 4th of July. We actually did the 4th last night because for some crazy reason the town where I’m from decided to do the 4th on the 3rd! Go figure. I’m taking my children swimming at a water park so that’s another deadline. If I don’t finish Chapter 9 in the next hour before we leave… I’m doomed. I only have four more pages till I’m done. It shouldn’t be a problem. It shouldn’t! Except I’m having arguments with my heroin about how to proceed with her current state. She’s kind of getting on my nerves. But don’t tell her I said so. I mean I wrote this chapter last year. Why do I want things to be different now! Not to worry, she’s still cute and all of that it’s just that I’m so ready for her to grow up and get on with it herself already! Well, I shouldn’t really because to her that means… well I’ll let you read the novel to find out what growing up means to her.
Yes… I’m struggling because I’m done but… I’m not done. When you don’t have 100% of your time to dedicate to just one thing, it can be frustrating. My world does not revolve on just this one thing. I have a zillion… other things to worry about. Yeah… I hear you. Worrying never amounts to anything. It doesn’t. It doesn’t. I’m out with my family and I’m thinking about this novel. I’m going over my novel and I feel guilty for neglecting my family. It is a vicious circle. Vicious!!
M.A.T.L. is coming… soon?
Don’t worry… I’ve got the situation Under Control (by Calving Harris & Alesso ft. Hurts). That track just did it for me and my main character! Search it and dance. Forget about everything for a bit and just be free to whatever ya’ll!