The problem with revisiting M.A.T.L. is that I am in MarJo mode. That’s the sequel to M.A.T.L. I’m really screwed this way. I keep wanting to move forward while I can’t really. My characters are too strong and Chapter 10 is very delicate. I have to tread carefully. But MarJo… it’s strong in me now and I’m trying so hard to stay M.A.T.L.. It’s a challenge to say the least. This is literally the tenth time I’ve gone over my novel. It’s like when you raid your closet looking for that perfect outfit. There is no such thing. It is what it is. In the end, my work shall be judged by all readers. All five of them. I’m sure I will hear about it. Perfect or not. You may not like it. And that is okay. I’m not going to fuss about it but I will be so happy it will be out!
I like reading the hard copy and marking it. It helps me to look at paper and not the monitor. Paper feels comfortable to me. Cozy. Chapter 10 is marked up not for content but for tidbits of awkward. The content is intense at times and romantic at times. But the verbiage… how do you stay in a teenager’s voice when she’s all grown up in your head? Music. Coldplay, Calvin Harris, Nick Jonas, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, The xx, Chainsmokers to name a few. I listen to more music than my teenager. And… I like it. I especially love Coldplay and will forever be a fan of theirs. Chris Martin is a poet. I’m just saying. Enough… Music. At the moment, just to keep me energized and in the head of my main character I’m listening to Machine Gun Kelly and Camila Cabello’s “Bad things”. Of course, that song is more Surrender, the title of the final novel after MarJo. The whole story is in my head ya’ll. It’s done. I know how everything ends between these two but I can’t put it down on paper fast enough! That’s my problem right now. Scenes from all three novels messed up in my head and M.A.T.L. isn’t published yet!
Music. Mood. That’s how I do it. Sometimes… silence is best. But definitely, music is the drug of choice. I put the headphones on and blast my eardrums deaf. My husband has to wave me down to get my attention. My kids… they’re wonderful. They’re so patient and loving and supportive. I’m so lucky. Life happens around me while I’m taking hit, after hit of fiction. Fiction in my head. Too strong to neglect but my ass hurts. So I will have to get up soon. And my freaking chapters are loooong! I mean… what was I thinking! Each one is between thirty and fifty pages long. Oh… Chapter 13 is the longest chapter. Just peeked at the file. It’s 98 pages. I know… I know! Couldn’t be helped! I can’t seem to cut it down. I tried and when I get to it this final time, I’ll try again. But I can’t guarantee anything. Cause… I’m done! I need to finish this ya’ll!
Have you ever heard of Seafret’s “Oceans”? That song is so MarJo and it keeps looping in my playlist and in my brain. See what I mean! Focus Mel! Focus! But truly… listen to it. It aches all over and yearns for closure!
M.A.T.L. is coming soon. It is! I promise!