Y’all… I don’t curse. I feel like it sometimes but I don’t. The word crap in my family is considered a curse word. I’ve had my daughters, nephews and nieces gasp at the sound of my blurting out crap! Not only that, I laugh after and they’re like… Why are you laughing? It’s a curse word. They’re adorable and I love them to death but yeah… I don’t curse.
I’m writing this for all of those, who like me, cringe and get offended when such language is used in normal conversation. I know we hear it at schools, work, grocery stores… pretty much anywhere there’s people you’re going to hear it. My sweet Mother read Michael or rather was reading it. She couldn’t finish it. It shocked her that such thoughts came out of her daughter (I’m fort-ahem and she still affects me like I’m a little girl. Cue everyone… awe). “You don’t need to be writing that. You’re lovely. You’re not that kind of writer.” She told me in her tender, loving, supporting voice. It was really difficult on me to have shocked her that way. I felt horrible. I didn’t say anything other than I would let her know which posts were safe to read. Then I rushed over to my laptop and found there were 15 instances of the F word – not to mention the sex scene, which I didn’t think was graphic, but it was strong. I guess.
If you read the Michael post now you’ll see I’ve bleeped most of it. I mean the character curses. It’s a part of his vernacular. It was a heated moment. He’s Michael. (He’s looking at me right now… Hi darlin’. Come back later. I’m busy right now. (Please don’t tell my hubby that Michael was here.) Okay he’s gone. Hmm… he’s lovely. Tall, very tall, dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, broad shoulders… he can curse if he wants. He’s not real.
So… should I be worried that I’m going to Hell for making stuff up? Is it really me that’s cursing? Will I be held responsible for corrupting the world into cursing? Thing is, maybe I am. What would be the point in writing if I didn’t affect someone? You all affect me. As a voice of fiction, there will be sex, cursing, violence, rage but… there will also be tenderness, sweetness, sadness, romance, comedy and there will always be love. You can’t have the violence, the rage, irreverence, if love didn’t exist. Unfortunately, and fortunately… the Vampires came to stay. I thought, one piece, but they stayed… their staying. (My niece is happy.)
I love that my writing may be entertaining, that’s my goal really. I want to be good at it. I want to make my novel into a movie and get to meet all my characters in person. I want to hug them, have my picture taken with them, get their autographs. It’s a big dream. I mean no ill towards anyone and least of all my Mother. She’s been amazing, supporting me, being impressed with me and plain just… loving me. I think she may have accepted the fact that I’m a writer. What did I just say! You can disagree but I’m calling myself a writer! A writer who loves to create worlds, lives, make fantasy into reality and just create for fun.
I’m having fun. It has taken me years but I’m here. It makes me happy. It is me. It is who I am. I may not ever win a Pulitzer but if one person says – I loved that! I’m happy. If my novel gets picked up by Random House (fat chance) and is made into a big Hollywood movie (Mat Damon please contact me via email… what’s my email? – Click above) then I’ll see y’all later! LOL! Honestly… what’s wrong with dreaming? Dreaming is good. Ah – cursing.
Cursing. I use it when appropriate. Obviously Michael is not going to use it when he’s romancing someone, or when he’s talking to the art dealers that come to his studio wanting to buy his art for pennies. Well maybe he would curse at them, he’s too talented and those pieces are worth a fortune. Anyway… I don’t curse. It sounds like I’m trying to clear my name again (guilt?). Damn Vampires! Oh! I used a curse word! My kids will disown me. They’re not allowed to read my blog. I think maybe 17 or 18? Maybe never! This is a bit of Catcher In The Rye effect here, no?
I don’t feel that I’m writing crap. I feel like my characters have souls and they’re human. Human equals imperfection. Michael is raw. He’s beautifully raw and uninhibited (complete opposite of me). If I didn’t get that across, well… I need to think of another dream to dream because this ain’t no good!
Cursing is a moral dilemma. How much is too much when it comes to your characters? That’s a great topic. If I wasn’t pants-ing the Vampire shorts, I’d probably be evaluating that. But I like what’s happening. I like the challenge of pouring those installments out quickly and without really thinking too much. It’s so fun.
I’m ending this long rant before the TexasLawStudent takes me away for this yawner of a post, this crazy rant in motion. I’m pretty sure a lot of you will have something to say on this. Bring it on! (No, no, no… please I was only joking.) I just want to say that just because it’s in the lyric, prose… whatever, it’s not me, it’s my character. Hmm… that didn’t sound quite right. I meant I created the character and I have to assimilate… Oh! For crying out loud ya’ll! I don’t curse. Okay!
Love you Mama. Love to all.