Thinking out loud

Just want to talk/share for a bit. Kids are sleeping, hubby is… missing in action somewhere (in the house) and I’m here. I should be sleeping… sleep. Now, there is a word, an act, a dream, a need, I have not had a good relationship with in a long while. It’s been years since I have slept well enough to wake up with a spring in my step. I need to rethink things if that’s the case. Right? I feel it sometimes when I’m multitasking into formats of tasks. I need to sleep more.

Lacking in sleep… The truth is that I’m starting to feel anxious, nervous about releasing my work onto those three readers that might actually like it or hate it. I’ve been sprinkling some quotes/excerpts from Some Kind of Heaven, Matl-isms. I don’t know if that was a good idea since I’ve not even published the work yet but I liked letting some of it out. I thought I’d get some feedback that would help me with that extra push to set it free. Thank you for your feedback on those excerpts.

Feedback. I met a New Yorker that has his writer’s world wonderfully figured out. Well, at least that is how I see it. He might be all messed up, living in a disheveled loft in one of those charming collegiate neighborhoods in the Upper West Side. What do I know? I don’t even know if that is a thing, I’m from Texas. But really, he’s very organized and his experience is invaluable to me. Not only that but he’s clear, concise, to the point of what he wants/needs to share. He hopes we take out of his insightful verbiage as much or more of what he puts in. It’s quite genuine.  At the same time he’s building a reader-ship. The interdependent relationship being nourished effectively and thoughtfully. It’s an interesting development in my life. He’s a mentor of sorts, published, about to be published for the second time. J if you’re reading this, gracias… nuevamente (again).

Again. I’m a little anxious. I get nervous knots in my stomach and my balls shrink into little raisins. In case you’ve missed it, somehow, I grew balls when I started this blog and started sharing. I think it has added a great deal of quality to my life.  This is what I’d rather be doing more than anything else. I don’t want to stop being a Mom or really stop my life for it, but enhance it by becoming a better version of myself.  I would love to grow into being a good writer than shrivel up into nothing doing… nothing.

Nothing. This is really about nothing. I’m just thinking out loud maybe feeling a little weird about this life. It’s like having a secret identity. This person by day and this other person by night. I wonder how many of you might be annoyed by this post. You might be rolling your eyes and wondering… When is that next installment of Vampira coming out? Why isn’t that baby finished yet?  She promised it would be out soon. What is going on in her head right now? Who the freak is Charlie! Why doesn’t she use pictures/images in her blog?

Hmm… good question… for another post.

Love ya’ll.  Have an amazing whatever and thank you so much for visiting.

16 thoughts on “Thinking out loud

  1. superwifeandmummy

    I like being in your head. Oh my god, what if I’m one of your characters. …

    It’s good to express yourself my darling. You have to get things out. Sometimes I want to write posts like this. . Just venting a few thoughts. But I don’t. Sigh .
    Maybe you’ve inspired me❤🌺

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good Morning. Of course he’s reading it, or at least I’m certain he is. If not, shame on him. And I’m quite sure he is very appreciative of everything you’ve said above. I’ll thank you on behalf of him, just in case he doesn’t. I think he might be posting a few pics of his place in the next week, from what his blog says, so you’ll know what the NY thing is all about!

    Ah sleep. I don’t have kids, so I couldn’t possibly know what that part is like, but I used to have a job where I could never sleep, as I worried all the time. Then I started writing again, and now, I usually sleep well. It’s about being happy with what I accomplish each day and not worrying about what else I could have done. There will always be more, so if that’s the case, I can’t possibly let is run my life or ruin my night.

    As for your own writing, release when you are ready. Emotionally. Don’t push yourself, but don’t wait too long. Make a list of the things you think need to be changed / fixed, see if it matches what your readers send back. Also list the top 5 things you love about it. See if they also recognize them. If you have a good match, chances are you are way stronger than you realize. And if they are different, then all it means is you know the areas you need to spend more time on.

    I can’t wait to hear more about your progress.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a lovely post, Mel, about expression … it’s good for the soul. If you experience joy in the moment, you have lived that moment. Don’t be anxious, but let breath and love flow free.
    Thank you for sharing, because we all experience those times, and it’s encouraging we’re not alone. Just keep following your heart. : )

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well Mel, I’ve been told, we don’t need too much sleep as we get olderer, because we’re not as active as we used to be. However, that’s ok if you’re doing nothing !! but I’m actively writing more than I used to, not as much Plumbing these days. So my little brain is worn out every night, and looking for sleep. Then I’m in bed and the cog’s are grinding over every word I wrote during the day, but I want to go to sleep, oh what a viscous circle the cog’s are turning in. Anxiously I’ll work it all out one day, and hopefully before I’m too much olderer. If you find the secret, please let me know…….

    Liked by 1 person

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