Something I lack.
This is the very first post relating to 100 days of reflection and music as part of my journey to becoming an author. I have been wanting to do this since I began following Jay’s blog. Read this and then go check out his blog if you haven’t already. His blog, and David Allen’s “The Art of Stress-Free Productivity” (book I just started reading) are the inspiration behind this attempt to do something about the chaos that is me. I thought about doing the 365-day thing but… no. 100 days will do. What happens when I reach 100? We shall see. I will use one word each day. I’ve plenty in stock. Since I love music so much, I’m also including a song a day. I’m pretty sure I won’t repeat myself there. I’m constantly listening to music for inspiration and this narrative is no different. Words? I’m going to keep it under 1000 words. Is that a lot? It sounds like too little to me. I’m such a blabber mouth.
Here we go.
Listening to Blondie’s Heart of Glass. (I don’t know what is with me and the 70’s music, but I’m currently addicted.) Although they released this in 1979 which kind of makes this an 80’s song. MTV began a couple of years after and I remember, as a little girl, I was hooked on the channel. I remember the first time I saw this video. Debbie Harry looked so cool. Shiny lips, dreamy eyes and the voice of an angel. Yes… I started dreaming up stuff from a very young age. Dancing alone in my room and dreaming. I didn’t fit in with my Mexican family. I was a gringa deep down. Maybe I have some British blood somewhere too. Don’t get me wrong, I am proud of my heritage but I loved MTV too much to care one way or the other. Even now, the Latina in me craves caliente but she listens to everything, no discipline there but it works. I am who I am and I’m just trying to add some humor, not trying or wanting to offend anyone.
I need to discipline my ass in this! I have to remind myself as I look at the word count, under 1000. Eeek! Already over 300! Ugh!
As a writer, (Can’t believe I can say that without feeling funny.) I don’t consider myself rigid, regimented. I know. You can tell. Right? My mind is often cluttered and chaotic. There are lots of things brewing in there that for the life of me I can’t control sometimes. But for the things I can, should… discipline. It’s needed. I have a novel to publish. Staring out into space as I ponder the universe that beckons me to restrain, control my disheveled self. It is an art I have yet to conquer and I may not get there right away but I am going to try, work hard. It’s the only way. I need to do it. It is not an excess, a frivolous thing. It is an important frame of mind, a need. Sometimes I wonder how I get anything done at all given how much discipline is lacking in my life. This 100-day thing, it’s part of it. I need to make my brain work every day to bring this post to fruition. This is only day 1. Discipline.
And… I don’t want to clutter your reader but this goal is very important to me. If I reach you, great. If I lose you, well… the ride was nice. And this is in addition to my fiction. It has been great to be able to let it out, share it. There are more installments to come by the way. For now…
Yes Mel—you need to write it down, make a plan, stick to the plan, follow through—do it! (Where’s Charlie when I need him?)
I could say that the reason I lack discipline is because I’m a bad ass, a rebel. But I won’t. I could play the rebel all I want. But the fact is—ain’t no one gonna do nothin’ pour moi! It’s all on me. If I continue to stray, I’ll be too tired, the world will go on and I will stay behind. I surely don’t want that. I want to grab the world by the balls. (Charlie… thank you for that one darlin’.)
I want to improve myself, be better, the best me I can be. I want to follow the path that helps me, not the one that ruins me, stifles my potential. I want to be a good example to my daughters, to my loved ones. I want to be a good writer, an author, a movie maker—a creator of worlds. All of this takes discipline, restrain from the negative, self-control to avoid veering from its path, correcting of life long errors and goal-setting.
There is probably a longer list. I could go on. I don’t need a longer list. I can start with correcting how I approach my life. I’ll begin there, acknowledge the puzzle I need to work on, piece by piece, step by step, one day at a time. Eventually each piece will begin to fit. I’ll smooth it out, glue the pieces in place and move on to the next puzzle.
Discipline… I’ma go get me some!
From Mariam Webster
Discipline: training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character: control gained by enforcing obedience or order: orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior: self-control: a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity
Tagging you… challenging you.