100 DoRaM: Day 2 – Passion

Something that aches.

Before I continue in my tangential ways (I love that word, I always have, though I prefer divergent. Tangential sounds too mathematical but it is… a good way to describe me, my writing.), I’d like to address the fact that this is a reflection into me, about me, my work and a little of my personal life. I’m just thinking out loud ya’ll. I’m not trying to win a Pulitzer here. Just working towards a better self, whatever that may be. That’s the reason I mentioned in my last post, that I might lose some of you. That’s the risk I’m willing to take because… I can’t change for you, nor should you bend for me. It’s a two-way street and we should each be allowed to go in the direction we desire or feel passionate about.

Perhaps I got off to a rough start with Day 1, a bit chaotic (no surprise to those who know me and still read on). Let me see if I can change the ambience a little and introduce the song for Day 2. I like to start with the song first because maybe you’d like to listen while you read. I know I do. To help get me into the heat of things within my fiction.  I’ve been listening to Touch & Go’s Straight to Number One. It has an amazing erotic beat. The vocals are lovely, sexy. It’s border-line orgasmic. Now if you have someone with you, participating, then it is… sublime. (Hope you’ve clicked on it and are listening to it.) Touch & Go is a British Jazz Pop group that has blasted their way with creative beats, luscious female vocal samples and just amazing orchestration, I think. Perhaps you have a thought on their sensual beats. (Phil… your thoughts?). Oh! Their Tango in Harlem beat. It is wonderfully quirky and sexy. Wiggling at my desk. It’s so luxurious the way the instruments seem to animate the love scenes I write. I come here a lot. Thank you, Touch & Go!

Passion…

I’m talking about the kind of passion that can drive you crazy with want. That desire, lustful hunger, thirst for a kiss, a f***. That’s what I’m talking about. I’ve been writing a few love scenes these past few days, works from a couple of different WIPs. I can’t help it. When the dream wakes me, I have to drop everything and do what I gotta do. It’s just the way I’m wired. I don’t think I can change that. Not sure I want to. And this… I’m pants-ing it. Thinking out loud. I didn’t draw out an outline, or do any research (obvious). I think that’s raw passion. The fuck you hard and have you devour me kind of passion. It may be disgusting to some but it’s quite ravenously delicious to the rest of us.

You can translate that sexual, sensual passion into a passion for anything. It’s base, animalistic or it’s not passion. There is no such thing as a passion that is tame. No way. You go for it and you bleed it. That’s all there is. I like to create my love scenes like that. Raw… new… base. Even the most innocent kiss sneaks in the tongue. What about the hands? You want that juicy burger you crave it. You devour it. Can you imagine being thirsty, parched? Parched… insatiable thirst, a desire, a longing. It aches and f***s you up. He gives you a hungry look as you undress. She… she touches you, taking hold of you with a single feel. You’re done, gone. That’s how I approach my writing. I don’t think. I just attack it… with a passion, albeit childish at times.

I’ve thought about why it’s taking me so long to get SKoH out. I think as passionate as I am about my work… I’m scared. I’m learning too much and the innocent, perhaps, naïve, writer I used to be is growing and it’s scary. I’ve never let anyone but a couple of people read what I write. Not even my hubby has read that much. Now there are all of you. I’m scared. My passion is not dwindling but I’m vulnerable. I’m like a child learning to walk, landing on my ass and starting over. The passion is there pulling me, making me ache. But is that good enough? And is it worth it? All this passion… all this nonsense? It’s not right. Is it? I’m writing sex scenes between people that don’t exist, that are a part of me and not.  Something to think about a bit more.

Passion. It’s what drives me. It may probably destroy me. I guess I’d rather die trying passionately than not at all.

Thanks for reading.

22 thoughts on “100 DoRaM: Day 2 – Passion

  1. I hadn’t seen this yet, for some reason. I feel bad. But this post was so hot, and so raw and energetic… So you, in other words. I got into you on Tendresse, Day 4. Now, reading this, it’s such a trip through your thought process, your wonderful mind, and your passion. I love them all! You’re truly talented, and I love all your writing, even your emojis. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I just read this and oh my, we are indeed very much alike. Do not be afraid. Just write your heart out. Because you see, when we write we can be fearless. Me? I am afraid of heights. ( After my car got stuck on the highest bridge in South Florida.) By the time the police dragged me out my fingers were clenched tightly on the wheel of my car and they had to pry them lose, I was that afraid. (You can feel the movement of a bridge when you are stopped on one and the motion it needs to be aerodynamically sound.) So yes, I am afraid of some things. But when I write I am not afraid of anything. Because whether you are writing reality or fiction whatever you have in your head becomes YOUR reality. Your words, your emotions, and your characters. So they all LIVE!!! They become three dimensional because you breathe life into them. They are your creations, therefore they are perfect. In real life we may all have our quirks and fears along with our physical passions. But when we write…. only the passion survives. The physical blends with the intellectual and transforms us. So write away…. It sounds like you have a whole lot of words and emotions that are flowing out of you and ready to be written down. How absolutely exciting!!! Go for it, girl!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Passion…what a beautiful gift! To be filled with life, love and positive vibes! The pull that waits until you are ready, but keeps tapping at your soul until you answer. I love the tapping of passion…💚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your Biggest Fan

    “And one day she discovered that she was fierce, and strong and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”
    – Mark Anthony

    I wholeheartedly agree with superwifeandmummy, you are a breathe of fresh air in a stale and still room.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. superwifeandmummy

    I like the word ache. It describes the body feeling passion so well.
    I think your passion is the first thing that jumped off the page for me.
    WordPress is a lovely, welcoming place . It’s very sweetness and light- which I love and it makes it safe to express- people aren’t normally mean and nasty here (passive aggressive, that’s another story! 😂)
    Then one day I read some of your work and I was jolted at the explicit, passionate sexual overtones. Not because I’d never read anything like that before (come on) but because I’d never read anything like that here. And I was hooked because juxtaposed (oh yeah) with the sexual aching was tenderness, innocence, heart and soul and that’s what I read in everything you write.
    You’re like the person who, after you’ve been patted on the head and shaken by the hand, comes along and grabs your hair in their fist and smothers you with a passionate kiss.
    That’s your writing to me.
    And to lots more of your fans, I’m sure.
    The whole kerfuffle with your post yesterday was brilliant. I enjoyed it immensely because you ruffled some feathers. Here you are, all-over-the-place Mel with her characters and tangents and vampires, isn’t she sweet and harmless? and then BOOM ! Eff you guys! I’m doing scheduled, titled, themed posts parallel to my effing novel and I’m going to do them MY WAY MOTHERF*****!
    And lo and behold, “authors” creep out of the woodwork with their ‘advice’ and begin to feel threatened by you (and so they should) because if you and your innate endearing passion and talent are about to be coupled with a bit of unique structure then they’re all about to look like a bunch of daisies next to you, a humongous bunch of blood red roses .
    I hope you get my meaning.
    Genuine affection, always.
    Maria

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Firstly, I heard a noise and it turned out to be my 16 year old getting a drink. Now I can’t go back to sleep.

      After reading this… I can’t go back to sleep.

      Now… I’ma hug you, kiss you on the forehead and tell you that… I agree with you.

      I love how you said everything. I love how we can say what we want at WP. On that note. I love your passion and how you understand my work so well.

      I can tell you this… I’m reading self help stuff but I’m using it to keep me grounded, not to fetter me or add rigidity to what I do.

      I’m rambling now. Passion is in the house with your oration! I wish I could take you out to dinner and celebrate that I was able to spew out day 2 after getting home from work, going to the grocery store to get the missing ingredients for dinner, cooking said dinner, helping with home work, braiding hair, discussing international dot day (today) shower, pay a little attention to my hubby, making sure my loved ones are okay, arranging to wake up early today by setting up my Manuscript so I can do some surgery on it, and finally sitting down to read my last post and sigh…

      Sigh because… I don’t like being prompted and this post makes me do it. It’s part of my kicking myself in the balls to do something, stick to something.

      There… done.

      Love you Maria. I guess I’m just doing what I can now because I’m not able to do this full-time, yet.

      That’s all. 🙂

      Not sure if my little rant here means anything but.. screw it! I said it.

      Heaps of love and major thanks floating your way over the Atlantic. Never thought I’d have so much to say and people would be interested.

      XX. LOVE

      Liked by 1 person

      1. superwifeandmummy

        I’m glad you agree.
        I’m sorry you were up at such an ungodly hour!
        You’ll always have people around to tell you that you’re fab, because you are. And you must be aware that people will ALWAYS have something to say about what you write.
        Ok, look forward to more when you’ve tended to your real life as we all must and do, do.
        I don’t know how I’m even on WP writing/commenting half the time – as I said, a tear in the fabric of reality? Maybe.
        X

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know. That handy WP app. Thanks for your comment. My Niece wants to start a blog now, I’m encouraging it. Lord help us all, she’s loud in the best way! We’re in for it now!

        I like having this. It’s mine. It’s me. I didn’t have me before I started writing.

        So glad it’s Friday.

        Like

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