Something that saves you.
Around five years ago, I came across an American alternative band that was mostly known for one song. Awolnation. That song has become a timeless classic, a melodic embrace of a repetitive melody that punches you in the gut… Sail. I really like the song. (I’m totally Taylor Swifting it! I know.) A grown woman like me going mad like a stoner (Does that even make sense?) over such loud noise. It was my drug of choice that one song. I became intoxicated with the lyrical madness of it. The lead singer, Aaron Bruno, came up with the melody first. He then added the lyrics and voila! I began to journal like crazy after that. I drove my family nuts, playing it over, and over again until… I’m still playing it. What kind of Mom blasts such a thing? What kind of wife? Who are you Mel? I couldn’t help it. (Tangent: Woman Woman is also one of their greats. (Amazing video!) It got me writing Matl’s parents’ love story. Damn! I need more time! Can’t wait to polish that one up!)
The thing with listening to music and getting lost in reverie, is just that. You’re in the safety of your head. Nothing can happen to you except for a disconnect from reality. I needed that, to survive her loss. It was difficult to lose someone while having to deal with normal. How does one do that? You dream or you die inside. At least that’s how it was for me. Yes… the reverie began after she was gone. What was I before she fluttered away? I’m not sure I was alive. She breathed life into me, making me dream a waking dream. That’s all I had left, dreams… my dreams in journals. My drug of choice, my vice, the reverie of song. Now it feeds me, inspires me altering my dreams into stories, alternate realities.
When you’re in a state of reverie, nothing exists except what you create and that is so comforting to me. I know that I can disconnect and catch my breath, always able to come back to life. It’s reassuring. The world you’ve written comes to life only in your head. Everyone you love is safe from it. Those you love smile but they have no idea. Those who are shocked, wonder if you’ve gone crazy. I haven’t. I’m normal other than I talk to my fiction. But that’s how it is. They come to life, you bring them to life. Only to be controlled by you. It’s powerful. It’s not madness. Is it? No. It’s reverie in the sweetest form.
Huge thanks for reading. I mean humongous thanks!!!!!!
(Hey! Listen to Knights of Shame if you’re brave enough and try not to dance.)
(This post is what happens when you’re only getting three hours of sleep at night. Ugh! But… I’m determined to make it to 100)
(Keep your eye out for another Vampira post this weekend. Yay! I’m doing what I can folks.)
(I’m shocked! Day 3 and only 542 words! Unacceptable! There… more words. I’m such a rebel!)