A conversation with GoesWellWithCoffee brought me back to reality tonight. I was floating on a cloud of naivety thinking big on connections and the meaning behind them. But honestly… what do those really mean? I mean we’re all here for different reasons. I should really get back to mine. The thing is… I didn’t expect to care so much about these connections. These connections that have lifted me and brought me out of my shell. I’m learning. I’m learning. For me they mean I’m alive. I feel, I sense, I get it. A fast friend called me an empath in between jokes. The lining of their affection was thick but then I think I broke it a bit. I liked it. I liked that I could do that. This place is magical, it’s bewitching even. My reality is that I’ve been tainted and I’ve grown. Thanks for helping me see that Maria.
Back to reality. Why am I here?
I came here to promote my novel and what has been happening is that I’ve fallen in love with everyone and everything here. I had no idea I would end up writing flash fiction, connecting with so many on different levels, getting more emotional over a song than I used to and learning so much from so many of you. I’ve thanked you before but I’m telling you again, THANK YOU. Promoting my work is so fun and I love the experience so far. I would not trade this for anything. I’m not saying I’m done and I’m off to Hollywood now… I’m just saying, that’s my dream. If and when it does happen, you are all coming with me. At some point, I want to meet you, shake your hand and hug the living daylights out of you. Until then…
I have a feeling I will stumble and fall a great deal more before getting there. But that’s okay. I like falling. I like it because it’s over something I love, writing. I hope that the true friendships I’ve built so far will let me fall and encourage me to get up again. I’m okay scraping my knees a bit. I’m alright breaking down. I’m in for getting my heart broken, my mind torn, I’m in. I’m in because I will be better after that. I will. I’m excited for it. Let me fall. I’ll be okay.
The meaning behind all this is lost in translation somewhere between what I came here to do and what I’ve discovered about myself. I like falling. I like falling hard because it makes me feel alive. It’s a cut, a scrape that leaves such a gash, corrupting me every which way. I’m a mess but then, when the time comes, I’ll peel off the healing scab. It’s going to hurt but the healing will be so precious. That new skin will be thick and strong, no scrapes. My own family may not even recognize me. But then I hope I will surprise everyone in a good way. I hope I get to meet GoesWellWithCoffee on the director’s chair or the producer’s chair (Why not?) in a studio in Hollywood or on location in Texas. I’d love to co-write something romantic and quirky for TV. That’s such a fun dream! That’s why I’m here. I want to make my dreams come true and in the meantime, I don’t mind making connections. It just makes realizing my dream, sweeter.
(I just read this over. Did all of that even make sense? Ugh! I’ve got to plan these from now on! LOL. And YES! I’m a big fan of GoesWellWithCoffee! So sue me for fan-girling the blush into his virgin cheeks (*wink*). I love his style of writing and I love that he’s not tainted by anything. He’s original and real. You will all be sorry if you don’t go and follow him right now! Big things are coming from that one. I feel it. I’m kind of hoping I get invited to all his milestones as a writer… maybe even his wedding. Or his baby’s baptism? Not sure what he’s got going on there but I’m in for whatever! You got that Coffee!(That’s what I decided to call you. Hope you’re okay with that.) Pat on the back for this tangent of ginormous proportion. (Mel, end this now woman!))
Thank you so much for reading and listening.