Granite Countertop, Private Eye – Side Story

Don’t miss the fun y’all!

Ward Clever

Did I mention, a thing is coming which is huge? It stars Granite Countertop, Private Eye, star of about 7 or 8 stories I wrote. But another character is Shootapenguin Abernathy-Piledriver, who is very important to the thing that is coming which is huge. Just so you know who he is, here’s a little story about him. I wrote this as one of a whole bunch of silly but “true” stories, and then sort of liked this guy. So I kept him! Enjoy.

Once there was a boy named Shootapenguin Abernathy-Piledriver. He was made fun of for his tendency to wear socks with sandals, even in winter. So one day, he bought a jar of pickles with his allowance, and then he ate them. Despite this attempt, the teasing continued. So he climbed into his freezer and turned into a snowman. But once he went outside, he melted, and the…

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