100 DoRaM: Day 86 – Melancholy

Hello lovelies! Recently I was thinking out loud, sort of, to a friend.  I blurted out that I was tired of melancholy. I want more happy and less… ugh! I mean isn’t it exhausting y’all? Feeling depressed on a regular basis? Whatever! I guess that’s life! Right? Can’t have a balanced life without it. Melancholy forking the happy out of life, making it rain… rain hard! I am tired of it, but damn!  The melancholy comes back to bite me in the ass! It bites hard! It can’t be helped. I guess. It is just a part of life.

Obviously, my melancholy involves music. Why not! Elton John’s Empty Garden will do me in for a couple of days, more maybe. I used to listen to it when I was young tender 11 year old. I used to listen to it a lot. I remember coming home from school, pulling my journal out and playing the single, over, and over again until the journal was covered in tears. Yeah… I was a weird child. As if life wasn’t hard enough. I added to it sad music to boot. Hey… I did some of my best writing that way. LOL.

As an adult, there is a song that takes me there immediately and keeps me there like… forever. Young the Giant’s Cough Syrup. For about a couple of weeks starting today… I might be in a dark cloud mood and then hype, like happy. It’s a weird effect. I do believe that is a feeling of catharsis shaking my body up. It’s this incredible passionate rush, a hypnotic adrenalin mellow trip. This is not your Mother’s breathe sigh! It’s a forking eruption of crazy boiling points. Then it drops me like a mother unto myself. No escaping it. Tears… tears… and more tears. The lungs swell, I collapse. Yeah, this cough syrup does all this.

Life. Yeah… growing up being me wasn’t always easy. Happy times. LOL. Sometimes it was sad, very sad. I had the music to keep me cozy and even sadder. As an adult, well… my ass hurts. Crying (I know, repeating myself)… is cathartic and it is amplified by my imagination. So, journaling my poetry about heartache, death and suicide – yeah… nice!

My point is (not sure there is exactly a point here but just go with it)… go ahead! Have a good cry! Let it out! But… breathe sigh… recover and be happy for crying out loud!

Love y’all!

Thanks so much for reading and for listening.

 

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