From my novel Some Kind of Heaven – Chapter 7… in progress of being rewritten.
Angel stops and looks at me. He gives me sympathetic smile and kisses me on the cheek and that breaks me down completely. I’m in full blown tears. It seems everyone around me knows better and I am such a horrible mess. Joseph looks straight at me and walks closer to me. I hear the rear door slam. We’re alone. Completely alone he and I. I can’t stop the damn waterworks and it’s getting on my nerves. I try to channel Sophie’s attitude but I can’t. I’m me and I love Joseph. We’re standing in the foyer looking at each other. He gets closer to me and wipes my tears gently.
“Matl… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I’m lost. That I don’t know what to do, how to behave with this lingering over me… over us. But I’m slowly finding my way. I don’t want to lose you because of this. This lie. I need you. I need you in the worse way. Please… give me the time to sort this out. I need you that way. I need your love that way right now. And let me be clear. You’re not my equal… you’re the better part of me. Better than I. Please understand that you’re the treasure that I need to protect. You’re not my toy. Never. You’re the love of my life, the future mother of my children. I need to protect you this way… for them… for me.”
He smiles and kisses my hands. The lump in my throat is gone. The fire inside has turned to a soft comforting warmth. He has made me feel so much better. I love him so much for that. I needed that clarity that guidance and he knows how to do me so well. No sex necessary. His touch alone, his voice… breathe sigh!
Bliss in the midst of hell. We walk into the main hall and we go our separate ways. Our hands are not wanting to let go but when they finally do… I have to catch my breath or suffocate from the knowledge that things are not well for my love – for us.
© 2018 Mel Gutiér
Getting back to work. It feels good.
Gotta song for this.