MELancholy Monday – Unplugged

I stood pacified against your sonorous quiet. I remember your powerful silence. You were so brave and so bold those days. You always were but those days you were a show off. I wanted so much to be strong for you. I hope I was. I hope you felt my hand’s armor encouraging you. My love, my friend. I saw you through the pain, through the ache that was waiting for a break, a pause. I saw your beautiful in your raw and your ugly in your light. You were my happy place. I was nestled there between your hugs and your words. I found myself in your eyes and endearing wise cracks. You were my sunrise surprise, a day full of joy and love. You were my sunset orange marmalade wishes into a night of cuddles. I remember how tightly you kept your heart around me. I thought I would suffocate from it, but you got me through the stiffness of a storm so violent, it tore us both inside. I remember your smile, full of hope and soft duress. I would have done anything to shelter you from any of it, all of it! The poison should have been mine. No sweet escape for you, was there?

My heart has scars that will never heal now. Thanks for that. You’ve engraved yourself there. I’m not using any antiseptic because for some reason, I like the way it hurts. It’s a wound that survives on your smiles and affection. Those images in my mind of you drinking strawberry lemonade and eating off my plate. You couldn’t get your own fucking fries! I could have used your help yesterday with the damn paper, by the way. In fact, I could have used your help every day for the last two years. You’re a selfish bitch. Always needing to have it your way or no way. For some reason, I didn’t mind it. I was content to land in your shadow. It didn’t matter to me because I had your friendship, your love. You were such a great friend. How long? 20 years? How many boyfriends? I think we had about 6 between us. Those were the days and those were the times I would like back.

“Alice, it’s time.”

“I don’t want to let her go.”

“I’m sorry, we can’t wait any longer Ms. Cooper.”

“Just a couple of more minutes. Please!”

“Alice you’ve taken two hours already! Let her be, love.”

“No! I won’t ever do that! I’m going to bother her all the days of my life! You hear me, Megan!”

“Alice, please.”

Why did you have to go and get sick like this! They’re unplugging my heart now and I’m going to bleed you to death until the day I die. My heart is funny that way.

© 2018 Mel Gutiér


(Lyrics to this song. Not my words.)

I’d like to be a child again
So many things to do
Playground noise, and colored toys
And everything brand new

I’d like to be a pirate ship
In search of hidden gold
On ocean waves that swim away
And sail around the world

Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend

I’d like to be a soldier
A general I would be
In battle and in glory
With ten thousand men to lead

I could be most anything
There is so much to see
I’d live a different story
If you were next to me

Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend

Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend

I could be most anything
There is so much to see
I’d live a different story
If you were next to me

(Where)

(Where)

Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend

Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend

Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
Where (Where)
Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend

6 thoughts on “MELancholy Monday – Unplugged

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