Last night, I lay in bed as still as possible. I wanted to see if I could hear my own heartbeat. I wanted to see if there was anything left in there to make me come alive again. The ache was unbearable, and I cried myself to sleep. Still… I heard something. It scared me. Alive again? Is that even possible? It certainly doesn’t feel that way right now. My body had other ideas. I woke up in the middle of the night drenched in the thought of you. In the dark there were colors I had never noticed before. They were all in the hue of you. Your smile, your hands on me. Your eyes noticing the dark in my soul and kissing it back to light. It was colorful bliss, souvenirs that used to decorate my life in real time. Souvenirs. You had me so well wrapped up in you, I didn’t notice me. Where did I go? Tears. I didn’t really care. I enjoyed being there, wrapped up in the warmth you bathed me with. Feeling your breath on my neck was a feast of pleasure. I remember the goose bumps from it. I’m shivering now, curled up in you… still. I can’t help it. Your absence has such a strong hold on me. My body cuddles in search of you. The cozy here feels… empty. Soothe me… make me yours again. Help me sleep again, dream again… rest. My problem is that my body remembers your touch and my soul is confused by your absence. It has been driven to madness, gone insane with void. Now there is… this song in my head, you… the lyrics, your kisses on me. You were always my favorite lullaby.
© 2018 Mel Gutiér