Charlie gets mad

What you missed:  Found my CharliesCharlie in my head, Dancing with Charlie, and Powerful… Charlie

Last year around this time I started a project called 100 days of reflection or romance or ramblings or something and music. It was a bunch of waffling and then music I liked. For the purpose of this post, I’ll let you know I was panicky about word count when I first started writing. It used to be a big deal to me, not so much anymore. I made it to day six and began to waffle as usual then at the end… (*Sigh*) You’ll see why, maybe, at the end of this, I was beside myself. It went something like this…

I’m barely at Day 6? That’s like 94 more days. Right? (Gulp)

I clearly did not think things through. That’s a lot of days! Giggling to fits of laughter right now from sheer panic.

Only one song comes to mind and we’ll go from there. John Newman’s Losing Sleep. (I didn’t find out I could embed the videos for music until much later so that used to be a link to the song.) Hmm… not sure where that came from. Sometimes I have nights like that, all the time. I get all worked up and lose it completely. I can’t sleep. Thoughts, characters, life… It’s crazy. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. I’m sure some of you feel that way sometimes. John Newman… feels funny how I’m enjoying this song even… it’s sad, isn’t it? I really like this song. It’s passionate, pleading, begging. Intense. I feel it. Good stuff.

I’m going to roam in my head a little. Okay? You know… go off track.

I know a lot of you follow and don’t comment. I’m okay with it. I just wish sometimes I knew why? But I’m good. I’ve visited a lot of your worlds. I get it. There is some connection. Some of you though… What led you here? I’m always baffled when I get a new follower. Mainly because I never really had an audience. Connections are easy here. Well not easy, but intense. It’s so much better because we get to know each other fast. You’re not anyone but yourself and they accept you. You accept me. Ever felt that? I’m completely open here. I’m me. What you read is what you get. If I comment it’s sincere. If I don’t it’s because I might not have the time. If I haven’t seen you in a while, it’s because of time issues.

Time… Some Kind of Heaven? What’s happening there? You ask. Or maybe I’m just rambling. Right? It’s actually going well. I’m starting to feel I have something really solid. I can’t believe how well I’m able to split my chapters. (This was kind of a load of crap.) I hope my readers appreciate it. I remember the first time I gave chapter 1 to a friend to read. I asked her to be completely honest. “It’s good. Just… maybe you can break it up for the reader.” I was like What? LOL Now there is a prologue and a shorter Chapter 1. LOL. Instead of seven chapters in part 1, there will be around 12. I hope the finished product pleases you all. I have big plans, but I shall not reveal serious details until it’s ready. (This was much crap too.) Where do I find the time? Now, working in the late hours of the night.  (Well… I still do this.) I’m losing slee–

“Mel?”

“Charlie?”

“Yes. It’s me”

“Umm… what are you doing? Where are you? I can’t see you.”

“I know. I don’t know if I want you see me naked yet.”

“Charlie! What? How are you doing this?”

“I told you before. I have no idea how this is happening. I just know I couldn’t sleep tonight. I got hot and just took everything off. Hey…”

“Yes?”

“What are those strangers doing all bunched up like that?”

“What strangers?”

“The people… oh… that’s just your brain matter. Gross! You’re all blocked up and shit!”

“Oh God! What do you want now? Why haven’t you gone back to work?”

“I’m going. I just… I kept thinking about Angela and I couldn’t sleep tonight.”

“Oh God! Put something on! Geeze! Actually, let’s talk. But put some pants on. You may be good-looking and all, but I don’t want to see your business all up in my face!”

“Mel… I feel weird… like I’m dead or something. Bizarro Superman world shit. Yesterday, I spoke to Gary at the office. They want me back right away. That client, that Phillips guy, he wants me as the front man on the project. I thought… I thought they wanted to restructure the whole thing, but something must have happened. It feels weird to me. It feels weird because she’s not a part of it and because…”

“Please Charlie. I don’t want you to be sad. Just do what you have to do. Things are happening. The wheels are turning. Go back. You’ll see.”

“I miss her body. I miss her. I want so much to kiss her. I want to see her smile and feel her touch again. It’s that bad! Why did I ever let you get to me like this! You get to be who you want and live the way you want. I don’t. And somehow seeing you comforts me. I guess it’s because I can’t see her. You’re all I’ve got.”

(Hugging him like this makes my heart break. I don’t know what it is about this man, but he is something special.)

“Okay. How many times do I have to tell you? I can hear you.”

“I know. I just can’t help thinking. Listen…”

“You have beautiful eyes. You want to come back to the house?”

“What?”

“You and me… It’s not like you’re cheating?”

“Okay. This is insane! Get a hold of yourself Mel. This is not happening!”

“Oh! It’s happening! So… are you in or…”

“Charlie! You take your hands off me right now and grow up! Grab your balls and march right back to your life! You’re not a child! You’re not even real!”

“See… that’s your problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re faking. You’re like… Oh… I talk to my fiction… they talk to me… Blah, blah, blah. Here I am missy, talking to you! You? You’re stuck in a fantasy while here I am as real as those lips of yours. Mel…”

“Get off! Stop it!”

“Bring her back! I want her back! And maybe you’re the one that needs to do some growing up! Ever think about that!”

(I’m scared now. I want to help him but, he’s not real.)

“You know for a bright ass woman, you’re something silly mixed in with crap all over.”

“Charlie! Please! I’m doing everything I can!”

“Save your sappy crap for some of your other fakers! I’m real! You… Do! Better!”

(Gulp)

“Where are you going?”

“Following orders, boss lady. I’m going back to my glorious life! You keep swallowing shit until you choke on it and get back to me when you’re ready to get serious!”

“Charlie…”

“You’re over your word count.”

© 2017, 2018 Mel Gutiér


13 thoughts on “Charlie gets mad

  1. Pingback: Charlie Dreams – Fiction in My Head

  2. Pingback: Thinking about Charlie – Fiction in My Head

  3. I do love these. Im not sure he gets overly mad… maybe a little pissy

    I really like it when we see the glimpses of his fragility. When he seems confused or scared . and then suddenly he’s back to his confident self.

    You must be a therapists dream 🙂

    Nice piece !

    Liked by 1 person

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