I do not want to

I do not want to miss you
But the pages turn
They’re meaningless without you

I do not want to think of you
But storms control my thoughts
Your smile and your blue eyes

I do not want to burn for you
But the fire rages under the sheets
Flames ignite my longing for you

I do not want to cry for you
But tears pierce and burn at night
You are the comfort far from home

I do not want to scream your name
But my mouth betrays me in secret
You are a violent whisper in my heart

I do not want to imagine you
But butterflies make me flutter
My dreams of you are all I have

I do not want to need to hold you
But an anxious surrender stabs the air
Only you can fill the void in my arms

I do not want to need you
But I collapse losing all my senses
You’re the balance that keeps me… me

I don’t want to love you

I don’t want to love you

I don’t want to love you

But… I do

I… do

© 2020 Mel Gutiér


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