Marmite

Hello everyone or THE one reader out there. I’ve returned like I’ve done so many times before. Let’s hope it sticks this time because I really miss it here. Been sorting myself out, wanting very much to be a real butterfly but finally settling to dream of butterflies. Nothing wrong with that, I don’t think. *sighs* I didn’t think it would be this difficult to write a post after all the time off taken. But I am finding myself struggling to share anything that is of any interest or importance. I will say this… I miss writing and I truly want to come back regularly. It’s my therapy this writing thing. What do you do when the writer is broken? You take a break. I would LOL but who does that now. I think I just did.

I’m rusty, I know. Maybe a bit lost at times. Went back to twitter and now they have something called spaces. Not exactly sure how those fit into twitter and what about Podcasts? Podcasts are all the rage and I did want to start one way back in a nook of my brain ago but I didn’t realize how much time and effort you have to put into those things. I remember doing my little voice recordings here, on my first go at blogging. That was fun. Podcasts have become a bit much and perhaps I’m not ready. Which is fine. I’ll be ready at some point.

I have been reading Marcus Aurelius and working on my novels. I find that I get bored easily with one project and another. I mix it up to keep from wrecking my brain. Alas… it is not the only thing I do. I have a full time day job. Not at the moment as I am on sabbatical *says it in a dignified professory way*. Alright so not sabbatical but rather on leave. Whatever. I took time off to just be. You know what I mean. I just wanted to be. It has helped me breathe and just be free for a minute. Life is just too full of pooh not to stop “working” and just feel your bones, listen to the brain farts that you’ve been ignoring for so long.

‘You’ve finally lost it, lady.’

“Charlie?”

‘I wanted you to bring me back but maybe it’s not a good idea at this time.’

“Charlie! I’ve missed you.” (He’s more handsome than ever *sighs*)

‘I heard that.’

(*laughs*) “You’ve no idea how good it is to see you.”

‘Well, I think I do. I mean, I’m here. You haven’t changed. Your hair is a little shorter and umm, Hmm… You seem to have less of it.”

“Leave it to you to point something like that out. Still…”

‘Still? Still what?’

“You like me and you’ve missed me too. Don’t hide it.”

‘I don’t think I ever meant to keep that from you. I think I’ve been pretty clear in the past. If it were at all possible, which, I think it might be, I would kiss you right now.’

*clears throat* (I would totally let you kiss me.) *sighs* “Oh! Wait! What are you doing.”

‘Leaning in for the kill. Come on, Mel! Just let yourself be free. Be. You know you want to.’

“Charlie! No! I didn’t mean I would let you kiss me.”

‘Oh, right. By all means, please don’t say what you mean. Come on!’

“Get off of me! Right now! I don’t know how you do that but please don’t do it again.”

‘Fine. I might not hold back one day, though. Just you wait.’

*sigh*

‘Stop sighing, woman! It’s kind of sexy and if you don’t want this all up in that, you will keep to normal breathing from now on.’

(great. still a horny toad. Nice.)

‘You thought me up. In essence, you’re the horny one.’

“Okay… whatever! I do have plans to bring you back. I miss you and you’ve a lot to do. Remember Angela?”

‘Shit! I was hoping you would not open up that wound, pour salt in it.’

“I thought you loved her?”

‘Shit, Mel.’

“Look. Just work with me. I know what I’m doing. What? What’s that look?”

‘You have no idea what you are doing. I can see it. I see you.’

“You are me.”

‘I am not you! Wait… no! No way I’m you. I am me. Charlie.’

“Yes, you’re you. I just meant that our brains are connected.”

‘Right.’

“You’ll come back brilliantly. I promise.” (I hope)

‘God you’re a piece of work! But you’ve got me. I’ll bite. Just don’t lock me up again. I don’t like it. I’m hungry. Why is this the only thing on the table.’

(he’s so gorgeous *drools*)

“If you must. Use a napkin. Drooling is not a good look on you. Marmite? A favorite?”

‘No and I would not do that if I were you.’

“Fuck me! That is disgusting! What the fuck! Is that poison? Why is it the only thing on the table?”

‘It’s become a statue, I’m afraid. A souvenir for a land far away. I wanted to try it. Didn’t like it.’

“Just throw the thing away.”

‘I can’t. I don’t want to. It has certain sentimental value. Don’t look at me that way! I like what I like.’

“Mel.”

‘Yes.’

“You’re something else.”

‘And you my dearest, Charlie, are so much more than I could have ever imagined.’

©2021 Mel Gutiér

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